How to help your pets #21 – Love and Grief


Love and Grief

Love and Grief – two sides of the coin that is this life…

I lost my dear old cat this week. Parvati. The smallest black panther this world has ever seen. My desktop companion. Warm purring presence in my life. She was fascinated by my whistling (she would always come running).

She escaped, slipped out the door like greased lightning last Wednesday night. And then she just didn’t come back for her dinner the next day. I knew then. I knew in my bones that she wasn’t coming home. But I didn’t know where she was. A few days later my beloved and I went for a walk. We live on acreage, no near neighbors. We took the wild and wonderful whippet puppy, Gem, and Mitzi, our steady old man. We walked and walked.

Then just near to home, Gem wanted to go down a less walked path. I listened to her, followed her lead. The path went near to the road that our house is on. Just a meter or two from the road, I saw her, peaceful, still, no life left in her body. She had been hit by a car. Only able to just get off the side after the impact, so it must have been quick.

We sat with her. The dogs saw she was gone. My heart cracked open, and tears trickled out. Now, today, as I write, tears have been pouring out.

What does it mean to truly embrace grief and love, in all it’s glory and suffering?


Grief is the truest measure of love. There’s no escaping it. Well, yes, you can avoid grief, suppress it, deny it. But that choice closes your heart, and shuts down your capacity to love. The more you can embrace and celebrate your grief, allow it to pour through you, and the tears to fall, the more you open your heart to love more deeply.

So simple. But not so easy. Grief and love.

I will not pull away from my grief. I will allow the love I have for Pavarti to crack my heart open. I will allow my tears to flow. I will feel the pain of this loss deeply, and deeply. I will celebrate the joy, the connection, the relationship I had with this amazing being.

This cracks my heart open, and increases my capacity to love. So when our next kitten arrives (and who know when that will be, but it is inevitable) I’ll be able to love this new cat being even more deeply. And then, when they pass over, I’ll grieve even more deeply. I welcome this.

Grief and love. Love and grief. Two sides of this coin of life. I invite you to welcome them both, to embrace them both, to feel it all. To open up to more and more. This is the simple road. Not the easy road. But the necessary road if you want to explore the depths and frontiers of love. Grief is both the perfect measure of love, and the gateway to greater, deeper love.

Grief and love are your gifts to your beloved pets, past, present, and future. Never forget that. The deeper you can go into your grief, in a healthy way, the more your pets benefit – and the more you do, too.

Want more? Check out our most recent of this series of articles at this link.

And here’s where you can click through to watch this week’s video where I talk about these themes from a bit of a different angle.

If you want an online or in-person consultation with me, go to www.thehealingvet.com and book a free discovery call with me! We also offer a stack of awesome online training programs that empower you to find and heal your pet’s Silent Pain. Check them out at www.wholeenergybodybalance.com


Pictures of  Parvati, a celebration of her life…

Whole Energy Body Balance - 1 Whole Energy Body Balance - 2 Whole Energy Body Balance - 3 Whole Energy Body Balance - 4