Helping your pets #24 – Reciprocity and Trust


reciprocity and trust

Reciprocity and trust are the lifeblood of all relationships!

Is there anything more important when it comes to evolving, deepening, and making your relationships with your pets stronger and deeper than reciprocity and trust? I suspect that there are quite a few things that are at least equally important (kindness, love, consistency, benevolent leadership, presence, etc etc). And I am dead certain that reciprocity and trust are incredibly important if you want the deepest, strongest, healthiest possible relationship with your beloved pets.

Let’s define reciprocity and trust.

Reciprocity: (in relationship) involves a mutually beneficial exchange of support that makes each person feel cared for and loved. Mutual dependence, action, or influence. 

The deeper meaning includes ‘returning the same way’, and ‘given, felt, or shown in return’.

Trust: to believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you, or that someone is safe and reliable.

The deeper meaning includes ‘be firm, solid, steadfast’, and ‘that on which one relies’.

Reciprocity and trust – how do you do this well?

The first thing you need to understand is that reciprocity is the continual flow of giving and taking or transmitting and receiving that is unfolding between you and your pets all the time, on multiple levels. There is the physical level- touch, sound, movement, food, etc.

Then there is the emotional level- how your pets feel as you interact with them, and how you feel too.

Then there is the energy that is continually alive between you and your pets – an invisible leash that continually transmits and receives your states of consciousness.

I discovered just how important this is recently with my Whippet puppy, Gem. She had been especially wild and naughty – stealing things, jumping on me when ecited, stealing egg off my partner’s toast, getting on the tables, jumping the fence…

I’d gotten frustrated, and started calling her a ‘pain in the bum’ and a ‘little shit’. My beloved, Anthea, called me out, telling me that she didn’t at all like the energy of me behaving like this.

this was a damaging expression of reciprocity and trust. I was radiating anger and frustration, and calling her unpleasant things. She could feel it, just like Anthea did. And it was damaging our relationship.

I decided to make a simple change. I internally reframed (renamed) Gem as a ‘wild and wascally Whippet’ – this made me smile every time I said it. It changed how I felt about her, and the feelings I was transmitting to her.

Within 24 hours, I saw a beautiful change in my relationship, my bond, and my connection with Gem. And her behavior almost instantly improved significantly. Not only that, my relationships with our other animals instantly improved too!

This is the good side of reciprocity and trust. As soon as I started transmitting a different feeling, her trust in me increased, our bond got healthier, and her behaviour got better. Win-win-win all the way home!

It’s important to be transmitting (and receiving) in a healthy way to continually build stronger and healthier reciprocity and trust with your pets. In all dimensions – physical, emotional, and in the feeling/energy realms too. It makes a real, important difference to the well-being of all of your relationships!

‘Want more? Check out our most recent of this series of articles at this link.

And here’s where you can click through to watch this week’s video where I talk about these themes from a bit of a different angle.

If you want an online or in-person consultation with me, go to and book a free discovery call with me! We also offer a stack of awesome online training programs that empower you to find and heal your pet’s Silent Pain. Check them out at

Picture of Gem helping me in the office.

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